Stream of Life

About a month ago, I was at a retreat and we had free time. And as usual with my free time, I decided to wander off and this time along the creek up stream. It was quite adventerous and exciting as well as overall peaceful, challenging, and quiet. I started out with one of my distant friends. Quickly I realized this travel would be a metaphor for my walk and also my life in general. He started with shoes and soon found it hard to go as quickly and agilely as I. At certain points he caught up and even took the lead, but I soon took the lead once again. Times were hard, especially when neither of us could help the other. At certain points we had to get wet, we had to get dirty and wade through to get to the next step. At a point, he told me he had to turn back. Although I thought he could stay longer, I knew he must leave if that be his will and even though it would be a lonely and even more difficult road ahead, I had to let him go. After he left, I proceeded on my journey and as I had imagined, it was much lonelier, slower, and more difficult, but I pushed through. I began to enjoy this time and see it as a blessing, a time for me to focus and think and let go of the world. I soon found myself scaling vertical rock faces and passing easily over waterfalls. The small troubles I once viewed as mountains now seemed like dust. My fear and frustration stood no more, I was in near perfect peace. Through this, I learned that struggles are not given to us as a punishment, we unconsciously seek them out, it is our nature, they are a part of the journey we must make. They are given to us as blessings, though we cannot see at the time, God gives us these hard times to help us, to strengthen us because it is in these desperate times that we meet his Love and Grace face to face. It is in these times that we allow Him to hold us. We learn and we grow. The greatest knowledge is found not in our victories but through our greatest losses.

Peace and Love

As I sat in a tree, away from technology, people, the world, I felt His presence. I just thought about what God has done for me and thanked Him for everything. I saw these bright wings covering me and I felt his love so clearly. Then I looked at the mountain and saw bright light coming over the top. I thought about the town and wondered how many people knew what Jesus had done for them. God is not only wanting us and waiting for us, but is seeking after us and running to us as we return home. As we come to Him and realize His love for us, we want others to feel the joy we feel as well; we want to share His love with others. I tend to want to actively with myself in control try to help people, but this cannot be done. We cant help people on our own and shouldn’t try. As we grow closer to Him, it will come naturally that His light inside us will shine forth. It is so rewarding to see others accept this love, especially those who you have consistently prayed for but we must let go and let God!

Not a Victim, a Volunteer

For those of you who know what Jesus did for us, this will be a completely different view, for those who haven’t, I hope this will be very inspiring and life changing. Jesus was turned into the Roman Soldiers by one of his closest followers. Please do not feel sorry for Him; He knew what was happening and what was going to happen and was in complete control the whole time. Jesus was not a victim; He was a volunteer. Before they came to take Him, He prayed in the garden and once the soldiers came, He told them who He was and stopped His other followers from hurting them. He waited as they chained Him, could not be convicted by Pontius Pilate but was requested to be killed by the crowd who screamed “crucify him!” He was then flogged with cat-of-nine-tails (a whip with 9 straps of leather with broken glass, rocks, and metal tied on the end ripping skin off and tearing through flesh) for 39 strokes (40=death). This whole time He was in control, volunteering for this because of His great love. After being stripped, He struggled to His place of death; He was ordered to carry His own cross while being mocked. Once He reached the place of His crucifixion, He was nailed to the cross through each hand and both feet (in crucifixion you die incredibly painfully by suffocation, exhaustion, and blood loss). As He suffered on the cross, He looked at all those who loved Him, those who feared Him, those who were part of the crowd, and those who persecuted Him-EACH AND EVERY ONE, ALL OF WHICH HE LOVED. With people still mocking Him, He asked God to forgive them and with His last breath he said, “It is Finished.” Remember, the whole time He was in control, at any moment He could have sent down His legions of Angels and destroyed them all, yet He suffered so greatly completely innocent, sinless, as a volunteer. He volunteered Himself for us so that we can be with God forever because HE LOVES US!

The Mountain

Hiking up a 13,000 foot mountain really puts things into perspective. It's mostly you and the trail so you get a lot of time to think and search and persevere. Once I reached the top, it was such an amazing feeling of accomplishment. I saw the beauty of everything around me, and realized how insignificant and small I am, and yet so significant to the one who made us and will always love us beyond everything else. You know, everyone changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but something that always stays constant is our need for Him and his undying love for us! No matter the struggles we face, if we persevere and keep our eyes on the goal, we will reach the top, victorious!

what? Jesus?

Believe it or not, Jesus was super strong and hung out with all the bad kids. It's funny, I know some people who think Jesus is either a super wormy dork or powerless and uncaring or some kind of Hitler type figure constantly hurting, destroying, killing, and hating people. All of these views are definitely very skewed and wrong! We have all fallen short of His glory and need Him. He actually has already sought us out, loves us, and wants a closer relationship with us, every one of us. And when you think about it, we are all the "bad kids," but I know sometimes I definitely forget other people have issues and that we all have our own stories with many bumps in the road. It is so surprising and encouraging to see that everyone is imperfect and broken no matter how powerful or old or popular or "good" and yet He still wants us; He wants shattered vases, broken lightbulbs, burned down houses, and torn dresses to fix, make new and beautiful.

some little quotes and verses i found encouraging:

Live like it's the first time; love like it's the last.

"Absolutely NOTHING can separate us from God's LOVE because of the way that Jesus has embraced us." -Romans 8:39

We don't have to DO anything. It is already DONE!

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in men." -Psalm 118:8

To make a change, begin by focusing and improve by acting.

"Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men." -Matthew 4:19

Love the impossible, it's not impossible. Someone already did it!

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart, don't try to figure everything out on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he'll keep you on track." -Proverbs 3:5-6

To love another person is to see the face of God.

Haiti

This spring, I went to Haiti with a sixteen other students, teachers, and health care professionals. In the Dominican the landscape is gorgeous! The fields are so green and lush. There are so many trees and the grass and plants are so long and pretty. We drove 3 hours on a bus to the Haitian/Dominican border where there was market day. There were people everywhere and many people were carrying huge amounts of supplies on their heads. We walked over the border with all our luggage a little nervous but I made it through completely safe. There was a huge difference between the Dominican and Haiti. On the road to Terrier Rouge, we saw many people walking, riding bikes, and riding donkeys. Once we got to the clinic and school we saw the kids who were all welcoming and precious. We got to go on the roof of the school which had a great view of the village and Haiti. There in Terrier Rouge, we organized the pharmacy in the clinic, worked in the clinic, packed over one thousand of bags of food (rice, beans, flour, cooking oil) to send to Port Au Prince victims, played with the children at the school, and took great video footage and pictures of the devastating poverty that grasps Haiti. I decided to sponsor a child at the school, Ruth Fama who was in mourning for the loss of family members in the earthquake. Once she arrived home, she knew that she wanted to return and help the country through ministry and start a non-profit organization to benefit Haitians

I would like to share a journal entry from my Haiti Trip. I know you will not be able to truly understand this unless you have been, but here it is.

Blog:
We walk through the village of Terrier Rouge each day, clearly we are a spectacle as the children call out “blan, blan”, but somehow I feel like I belong. Things are so simple yet the people are so happy.
Little children running around in dirty tattered t-shirts, running up to me grasping me as if I am a prized possession. Their smiles are so genuine with a sparkle in each of their eyes that grips me more than their pulls.
Here in Haiti I feel at home, like I belong, and there is truly no place I would rather be. I am filled with joy and peace. It is serene, it’s like heaven. I feel like I can be myself, be free. I want to stay with the Haitians. These wonderful people want to play, touch, know, and connect with me.
Most everyone in the village of Terrier Rouge is friendly, although some are not. This hurt me at first, but then I realized, I am just here for a trip, 5 short days, here to help. After that I leave, but these children, teenagers, and adults they will still be here living in this poverty with little to no hope of a brighter future. I will go back to lots of clothes and accessories, electricity, running water, air conditioning, a safe home, wonderful school and education, and a loving family that supports me. They don’t have any of those things, those things that I so take for granted.
These people with nothing are filled with joy, but so many in America those who even have so much are unhappy and eternally unfulfilled.
I have learned that there is no equation stating that money, fame, or popularity lead to joy and fulfillment. How can I waste and complain and buy so much I don’t even need, when there are people I saw and spoke to who are dying and starving with nothing and no one to help them.
But now I am in love, in love with Haiti, in love with the people, in love with the school, in love with Terrier Rouge, in love with God.